Married to a Martian

My husband thinks he's a Martian. Literally. He believes he is from the planet Mars.

This is not a new development. He's been telling me this for years. It's been a little like pillow talk for us. He can go at it for 3-5 minutes at a time before my laughter gets a little uneasy.

I indulge him because his occasional boasting that he's from another planet is as close as he gets to being silly. When he starts up, I can see what he was like as an imaginative 12 year old boy . He is the most un-romantic, un-silly guy I know. So he gets his kicks every now & then by joking about how he's an alien because he has some mysterious 3rd band of blood (which is physically impossible, humans should only have 2, 3 bands should not exist ever, doctors are astounded when he tells them that, it's probably as rare as being born with 2 heads). If he has fun with it... well, who's he hurting?

I ordered him a book a few weeks ago about ancient astronauts. There is a vast nut wing conglomerate of believers in ancient mysteries & space-galloping ETs who are keeping tabs on us (popularized by Erich von Daniken). The speculations and "evidence" are wild! I watched a History channel show about it once. As a creative person who always wondered "what if aliens really do exist", I can definitely dig it.

But my husband? He was switched on by the book in a way I've never seen. He LOVED the book so much he didn't want it to end. The book talks about how the Old Testament heroes like Moses, Noah & Abraham who had contact with God actually came face to face with aliens.

The ark of the covenant was a nuclear weapon. That's why the Old Testament Levite priests had specific uniforms that included breast plates & helmets. That's why that one guy who stumbled & acccidentally touched the ark of the covenant died on the spot. That's why the plagues that affected the enemy group who stole the ark of the covenant resembled radiation sickness.

I can see now that it was a bad decision to purchase the book. We all want to believe we're special. But the fact that he went to another planet to find his uniqueness is... not normal. The real problem is he's a psychiatrist. So who exactly would believe me if I began to have serious concerns about his claims? These beliefs don't interfere with his ability to function in society. He doesn't talk to himself, have a tic or twitch, or need to confirm the toaster is unplugged 40 times before he leaves for work each morning.

I'm just a wife & writer. I have a pretty vivid imagination. Give me a snippet or tidbit of information, my brain just goes, filling in the blanks, piecing together a fantastic storyline that could appear between the pages of a book or in a soap opera. I'm the writer... and even I don't believe this visitors from outer space mumbo-jumbo.

This bizarre belief has been under wraps for 35+ years. Whatever happens in 2012, I sure as hell hope aliens are involved. Otherwise I'm going to have to start dosing his morning cup of coffee with my prescription of Lexapro.